i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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