And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
