Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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