Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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