I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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