How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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