Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
