i think my mom watched the whole time
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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