You made me cry and you don't even care
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
This is my gift to your gina
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
