I think my vagina is haunted
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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