I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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