4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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