its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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