I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
