You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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