Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
