No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
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