Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
