look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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