WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
