Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
