i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
