im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
