So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
