oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
