I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
foreskin is a definite game changer
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
