she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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