i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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