your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
