in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
