It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
