I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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