I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wish life had little blips of pornography
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
