I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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