her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
