.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
