he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
