Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
