Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
