I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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