butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
