how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
