If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
