pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize
