Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
