the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
