and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
