Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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