Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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