i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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