i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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