btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
