i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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