I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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