i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
