the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
