I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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